I think I can, I think I can...

So, this week has been ok.  I'm really liking this 28 day meal plan that I found on....wait for it...PINTEREST!  Shocker!  I'll post the link below.  I did go and have barbecue on Wednesday, which wasn't good for my waistline or my checkbook.  But, thus far the meals have been tasty and even my loves, a picky 8 year old and a picky (almost) 28 year old, like them.  None of us liked the couscous from day 2 too much, but we ate it!

I realize that almost all day long, my brain circles around food.  I tell myself I'll make good choices, I plan what to make (like any mother does), I justify that handful of cereal, and on and on and on.  I think I can do this.  I'm trying to not beat myself up too much for the barbecue; I'll never be perfect at this, but I think I'm chugging along like the little engine who could.

Or am I the boy who cried wolf?

Meal plan link:
http://www.eatingwell.com/nutrition_health/weight_loss_diet_plans/diet_meal_plans/weight_loss_diet_meal_plan?pC=1200&pT=diet&pD=1

Hi, my name is Anne, and I'm a food addict

Yup.  I am.  It is really tough to admit.  It is really hard for me to be vulnerable.   Admitting this is admitting two things:  1 -  that I am not perfect, and 2 - that I feel like a failure.  Yeah, so SHOCKER to not being perfect.  But a perfectionist admitting they are not perfect is like a dagger to the heart.  It can be slightly counterproductive without accepting the fact.

I have a problem with eating too much in a sitting.  Not all the time, and not every day.  I believe they call that a binge.  I used to do the purge part, but it has been about 5 years since that.  I didn't do it everyday, I didn't even do it weekly; but doing it just once is one times too many.  I haven't quite gotten to the root of why I have such an issue with food.  Maybe I hit the nail on the head there in this post.  I'm a food addict.

Obviously I have a reason for writing this today.  I feel like I way overate after Victor left for work.  It started as lunch, and it turned into me finishing off 1/3 of a bag of tortilla chips with queso, and then leftover rice krispy treats from the holidays.  I'd rather not say how much I had of those.  Maybe recognition is one of the steps to getting past this.  When I do these things, I really don't feel quite like myself.  Somehow I either step out of my own head to justify it, or I just shut down my consciousness.

I follow a few blogs.  Some of them are craft blogs, some are weight loss, some are parenting blogs.  After I got fed up with myself just now and stepped away from the marshmallow crispiness, I came to the computer.  One of the blogs I follow is a (slightly annoying) 16 year old girl who is trying to lose weight, too.  Although some of her blog is fluff and annoying, she posts pictures and tips that I really like.  Some of them I end up sharing on Pinterest.  The one she posted today after this dreaded binge of mine was something I needed to read.  Here it is:


So, I believe that I will go drink a bunch of water and clean up more on my casa.

Everyone has to start somewhere, right?

Today after subbing, I went up to the gym here in my neighborhood and started a treadmill workout.  According to my plan, today was supposed to be 45-60 minutes of cardio, and 20-40 minutes of butt work.  The following was my treadmill workout.

I only made it to minute 31.  Hey, everyone starts somewhere!!  My lower back was killing me by the time I got to that point.

I never did the butt work.  The night is still (kind of) young.  This is what I have planned for that:


I had originally set my alarm for 4:30 this morning to work out, but that did NOT happen.  But, I packed my workout bag and went straight to the gym after work.

I've been doing good with my food choices.  I even turned down brownies, popcorn, and a chili dog at my in-laws house.  And let me tell you, that popcorn was tasty.  I had some (okay, too much) yesterday.  But, I did stay within my calorie range yesterday.  So far today I've had a homemade egg biscuit, a taco salad, a pomegranate, and a handful of (tasty) almonds.  I felt good (until I glanced in the mirror, LOL).  Why does one always feel like the pounds should melt off by the minute when you workout??