MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

We, wait, I have a serious situation here.  My fat jeans are getting tight.  My fat jeans that I retired to the top of the closet just a short year-and-a-half ago are tight.  I kept them so I could "gauge my progress."  Yeah, what good that did.  I had to take them back down about 6 months ago because no other jeans fit.  I have one pair of jeans, and they are getting tight.

Something isn't clicking here.

I'm not clicking here.  It is seriously as if I have an alter ego in my brain justifying eating ____ (enter whatever crappy food here).

I am what I can't stand.  No, not fat people!  A hypocrite.  It bugs me when people cannot keep their word, do what they say, etc, and here I am, Queen Excuse.  It's always "tomorrow" or "the next meal" that I'll start.  It's "after this party" or "once I eat everything crappy in my kitchen."  Excuse after excuse to myself.



My poor husband.  Just sits by quietly, patiently and lovingly all the while.  I always say that I have excelled everything in my life that I have put my mind to.

Except. This.

Accept this.  This is not reality.  This is my own irrational fears of....being hungry?



Right now, I am currently at the highest weight I've ever been.  I will be struggling with this my entire life.  Should I just put it all out there right now and say my weight?

*crying as I type this*

223.4

{Insert favorite expletive here}