Back to square one. Back to square negative one. Nothing has ever made me feel like such a failure. I really do think I have a serious problem. All hope is not lost today, I guess. I woke up, followed my morning routine that I had gotten out of, weighed, and then sat on the couch. That is a problem.
I think I've gotten into the habit of giving up on myself before I've given me a chance.
I told myself yesterday that today, February 18th, I would remember forever as the first day of the rest of my life. I promised that I would really do this. I cringe even thinking these things anymore. I'm so sick and tired of my choices. I really am. I have no one else to put this on but me. Therefore since it is solely on my shoulders, I am the only one who can change things. It is only one o'clock...the day has hardly begun. So, for the rest of this post, I will simply start out how I intended to before I mentally beat myself up again. That is a new kind of mental abuse!
I think I may have just opened a can of worms in my brain with that thought.
Here goes:
Here I am, starting over once again. This time, however, it will be the last time I start over.
Every Saturday, I plan on updating this blog with my weight and a picture. It'll be my new thing. So, here goes today's. The picture to the right is me, just a few minutes ago. Not pretty. I've let my weight get so incredibly out of hand. I am, right now, the heaviest I have ever been, in my life. This is not okay. I feel it in every bone in my body. My knees are getting weaker, my ankles hurt, even dancing is not as enjoyable because my body doesn't move the same way it used to. As the photo shows, I weigh 225 pounds right now. Kids, that is two hundred and twenty five pounds.
Something's gotta give.
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